Happy Loner

"Why are you so quite, always?" "Why do you like to be alone?" "How can someone stay at their home 24x7?" "Don't you love your family?" "Don't you like hanging out with your friends?" "How do you even enjoy your life!?"

These are just a few things, out of many, that 'introverted' or 'shy' or 'socially awkward' people go through almost every day. I wonder why do people even ask these questions. Are we bothering them by staying in our home or does our silence 'screams' out too loud? They think that introverts do these things on purpose. They think that we enjoy being isolated, being alone...which is definitely TRUE! But, what they do not think is that why do we do this. What they don't consider is that not every person can be as out-going as you are. There are people who hate parties, people who hate social gatherings and they are not at all obliged to give a justification for that.

I ask these so-called 'extroverts'; why do you force people to do something they don't like? Why do you call out people publicly, very well knowing that they are super-shy and get awkward when the attention is diverted towards them so much so that they may end up developing anxiety as well! But no, the fault is ours! Our fault is that we don't mix-up with people easily. Our fault is that we don't go to parties and giggle & enjoy with everyone, we don't meet new people. Certainly our fault, right?

This is high time for people to start giving importance to every individual's decisions, to stop forcing, to stop counter-questioning someone's decision and most importantly, stop making us feel guilty about our nature and personality. People give us a tag of 'boring', and this tag is given to us for being us. Yes, read that again. How would someone react on being called a boring personality? Obviously, they will keep thinking about it and will start self-depreciating themselves, they will start feeling worthless of themselves. Some of you will say that self-depreciating thoughts are common but realize one thing please, by making someone think negative about themselves, you're pushing them towards a vicious circle of overthinking. Nowadays, some people even use overthinking as a method of gaining sympathy. They say they're an overthinker without even knowing what it is. But still, they are at least better than those who say that there is nothing like overthinking or it does not even exist!

Introversion is not totally genetic but can be developed in someone during their young age(mostly) depending upon their surroundings and the environment they live in. Childhood trauma, physical or mental abuse, abusive parents, friends or relationships, getting bullied as a child, are some of the reasons why or how some people develop introverted personality. Apart from these tragic incidents, some people are, in fact, raised in such a manner that their personality appears to be introverted. 

Talking about myself, I require 'Me Time' a lot! For me, it is as important as a good sleep. Not getting enough me time makes me irritated and angry. I remember someone saying, "The lockdown must've been a dream come true for you, no interactions with anyone at all." Sadly, it wasn't! In fact, it was more of a tough time for me than normal times because during lockdown, all the family members were home 24x7 and there was no time for myself. There was no me time at all! That made me crazy, and the worst part, I couldn't even share that feeling with anyone because apparently, people like me are mad or psycho! My family would've definitely taken me to a counselor or a psychologist, for that matter, if I would've said these things. Insane!

*Sigh* Anyways!

Me time is really important, no matter if you're an introvert or an extrovert! Do anything that you love. Grab a good book to read, listen to some music, watch a movie or anything that makes YOU happy. It helps you calm your mind and find your true self. It even helps you take some tough decisions of your life as well, because YOU ARE YOUR BEST ADVISOR and nobody else! Remember, whenever in doubt, turn towards the mirror for an expert advice!

For those who are introverts and have been in a position where people forced them to think about themselves as a worthless or helpless being, trust me on this my friend, you are one of a kind! You don't have to change yourself just because someone say so. If you'll change for them today, they'll come for you again and this time for something else. And this will continue for as long as you start giving importance to yourself rather than others' opinions. You, your happiness, how you stand for yourself and your concern is very important to define your personality and to define your true self as well. So, start loving yourself because in the end, it will be only and your happiness and nothing else. Just be proud of who you are!